Honesty is never seen sitting astride the fence- Lemuel K. Washburn

 

Syria- Bombs away, if you like it or not

 

You know me, I never like sitting on the fence and I never usually post more than once a week. But considering I took a break last week, and Syria is dominating the political news like Boris Johnson tackled a Japanese schoolboy to the ground, again, I thought adding my hat into the ring wouldn't be too much of an issue. And like my last post I find it hard to be funny, how is war funny? Unless you're Blackadder and are eating rat droppings for dinner. But this time I can actually laugh at someone: the entire Houses of Parliament.

 

If there was something inevitable yesterday, it was going to be that Syria air strikes were going to be voted through. I can imagine Daving Cameron lying in bed last night and thinking to himself: now I can resign and wait for Chilcot to write another enquiry into the deaths of innocent civilians, and ironically reveal it on Cameron's deathbed. You would have thought that would give away my opinion on these airstrikes, but my mind is actually more confused than John Lewis were when they realised their Christmas advert just got out done by a cat with accident tendencies (credit: Sainsbury's).

 

Here's what the solutions are in my head of fog:
*tory puppet glove: Bomb Syria!- and all the innocent civilians will of course love you for that won't they...
*tory puppet glove: But what about all the terrorists?- maybe you should find a way to kill them without killing the rest of the Middle East in the process, because you're currently proposing that it will be so bombed and black in ruin that God would eat the area as toast for breakfast.

 

*1/2 split/decapitated labour puppet glove: Don't bomb Syria! Negotiate with them to find peace!- I agree with half of that at the least, that's probably the best praise I've ever given to anyone on this blog.  But peace? Okay, I'd like to see Jeremy Corbyn try and negotiate a peace treaty with ISIS (yes Cameron, I said it again!) who make a living out of beheading and throat cutting. Plane's boarding for Syria in 15 minutes Mr Corbyn, still want to jump aboard?

 

*SNP: We'll follow Labour into anything to show a "point", and go against air strikes. Oh and while we're at it...- IF YOU MENTION INDEPENDENCE AGAIN I'M GOING TO LOSE IT. Nah, I'm probably giving less credit to the SNP than they deserve, but their "goody-two shoes" politics is starting to wear thin. They don't want air strikes because they want to stop all the wars in the world, we all want that. But sometimes you have to bite the bullet and actually understand the other argument rather than just say "IT'S WRONG!" and sit back down again thinking you're the next William Wallace.

 

Whilst this is a broad exaggeration of what happened, there was no viable alternative. I've heard the argument to give arms and financial support to the Kurd's and Free Syrian Army. But in a perhaps extremist view, al-Qaeda was founded by Arab volunteers fighting against the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan in the 1980's. And I'm pretty sure we don't want that again, even if it is only a possibility. Finally there is a full scale invasion, which is about as preposterous as it gets, I don't even think Tony Blair would vote for such a thing if he was still an MP. Chilcot will have to work overtime, which is something not even I can imagine. As the messiah Ian Hislop said a couple of weeks ago, all he needs to write in his enquiry is thus: BLAIR IS GUILTY.

 

Jordan Ifield (for once I don't have an opinion on something, might ask that for Christmas . No, not Christmas bombings!)